It’s such a sorry state for most people and yet I found out that a lot of good things can emanate from such a state. I’m not trying to rationalize anything, I’m just saying that it’s not the worst thing that can happen to someone. And that in some ways, it can be the best.
I am one of those jobless people. Why? Because I don’t know what I want yet. You think I should at least have some sort of temporary job while I’m looking for the one that I love, right? Don’t worry, a lot of people told me that already.
I’m lucky in a way that I have patient parents who are willing to give me time to figure things out. And I’m privileged not to be in a situation where I “need” money. I don’t want to be part of the working population just because I need money badly. I don’t want money to be the focal point of my career. I just want to want money, not need it. I want to have a job that I love because of the fulfillment it gives, not because of the monetary value it brings.
There are people who sees me as a failure right now. But I don’t see myself that way. I’m not a failure. I’m young and I’m willing to make mistakes in order to learn. I want to make the most of the one thing you can never earn which is time. I want to spend it on the things I love to do before this world urges me to spend it on the things I HAVE to do.
I wouldn’t love the things that I love now if I have a job. I wouldn’t have known about my two favorite authors right now if I have a job. The day I came to know Agatha Christie was the day my mom and I went book hunting and she saw one of Agatha Christie’s books lying on a table outside a bookstore because it’s on sale. She told me Agatha was one of the greatest authors of all time so I got the book and the rest is history. The day I came to know about Chuck Palahniuk was the day I was with my boyfriend and we passed by this street vendor selling re-priced books. He pointed out Damned and Tell All and told me it was written by the same author of Fight Club. So we got those two titles and I loved Chuck ever since. Both days wouldn’t have gone that way if I was at work on a job I’m not even sure I want.
Lame excuse for not having a job? Maybe for you but not for me. You see, I value memories. And those little things make the best memories out of everything. I don’t want to be one of those people who’ll lie on their death bed and regret all the little things they didn’t do that could have made them happy instead of rich. I don’t want to be one of them and I’m not going to be one of them. I want to have the littlest amount of regret when people finally bury me 6 feet under or throw me into the fiery pit to be cremated.
It’s the privilege of youth. You have time. You have energy. You have freedom. You can turn your back on all the harsh truths of this world and no one would give a damn. You can fail as many times as you want and still smile at the end of the day. You can fool around, laugh out loud, act like a total idiot and credit it all to the YOLO bin. So really, that’s all I’m trying to do. I’m trying to make as much memories as I can before a job becomes my life. Before everything I do in a day becomes convertible to cash. I want to read amazing books and enrich my mind. I want to write amazing pieces and share what I know. I want to take amazing photographs and show it to the world. I want to do amazing things outside the professional world simply because I’m capable of doing it. I want to feel happiness in its purest and silliest form before it becomes optional. To those who found their dream jobs right after college, good for you. To those who think that “having a job” is the peak of living, go ahead and keep on thinking that. To those who define success by the amount of money someone’s earning, good luck on that.
Do what you can in the time that you have. But don’t get stuck. You would have to move on and you would need to know that. Me? My working days are ahead of me and they’re coming in fast. I know that now more than ever but when they come, I won’t be half-hearted. I would be waiting with my arms wide open. I would not be scared because I know I’m fulfilled as a person and that I can find happiness despite the crazy schedule and all the harsh yet inevitable things that a job entails. I won’t lose myself despite the demands of my chosen profession. I won’t because I know better than to make a job and a specified amount of money rule my life.
beauesprit12 