Professor J.F.Y.

Bad news hit me hard as last week geared towards its end. I cried. I debated. Nothing happened. It broke me. But then fate quickly restored my spirit just last Saturday. How? In the form of my first ever Masters professor.

Pwede na magtagalog? Ok. Game.

Hindi ko na babanggitin ang buong pangalan niya at baka meron pang makakilala at ibalita pang may estudyante siyang nag-blog tungkol sa kanya.

Isa lang ang naalala ko pagkakita ko palang sa kanya at yun ay ang iniidolo kong si Sir Steno. Oops. Steno na nga lang pala. Matangkad, maputi, chinito. Authentic Chinese look kung baga. Halos kaparehas din niya magsalita kaya naman talagang naaliw ako sa kanya.

Sobrang COOL niya! (O ayan, naka-all caps pa.) 8:00-4:30 ang klase ko sa kanya. 8:30 ako dumating (Oo, late nga ang pobreng bata). 9:30 nung bumanat siyang “O, alam niyo na topics niyo for the succeeding weeks? We’re good? In that case, tara na. Wala akong planong makipagbolahan hanggang alas kwatro. O, college style a. Walang papakita sa office.”

Early dismissal? Sa Masters? Seryoso?

Who would have thought it’s actually possible???

Siyempre lahat naman kami masaya. Sino ba namang estudyante ang hindi matutuwa kapag maaga ang uwian di ba?

Pero sa maikling oras na nagsalita siya at nakinig ako sa mga sinabi niya, eto ang mga natutunan ko.

Una, “Don’t spend more than what you make”. Matuto kang humawak ng pera. Yan ang isang bagay na hindi itinuturo sa eskwelahan pero unang bagay na dapat matutunan kapag nagtrabaho na.

Pangalawa, “Maging masaya ka, pero wag kang makuntento sa kung anong meron ka”. Kapag kasi nakuntento ka, hindi ka na maghahangad at magpupursigi na umangat pa. Hindi mo na iisiping dapat mas magsikap pa. Hindi ka na magtatangkang mas pagbutihin pa. Wag mong hayaang tumigil ang pag-asenso ng buhay mo dahil lang kuntento ka na.

Tapos sabi pa niya “Kayo, natutuwa ako sa inyo. Masaya kong nandito kayo ngayon kasi ang ibig sabihin nun, hindi kayo kuntento sa alam niyo na ngayon. Hindi niyo hinayaang maipit kayo sa mga bagay na natutunan niyo nung kolehiyo. Gusto niyo pang matuto. Sana lahat ng tao naiintindihan ang dahilan sa likod ng hindi pagtigil sa pag-aaral”.

Ang galing niya. Makulit siya, maharot, kwela at sobrang praktikal na tao, lalo na sa oras pero lahat ng lumalabas sa bibig niya, may saysay, may laman, may importansya, may halaga. At sinong mag-aakalang sa kabila ng sobrang “casual way” niya ng pakikipag-usap ay ang 2 Bachelor’s Degree, 1 Masters Degree at 1 Doctorate Degree. Bigatin di ba?

Gusto kong maging katulad niya sa paraang malayo at matayog man ang narating niya sa buhay, nakatapak pa rin ang mga paa niya sa lupa. Ang mga nakamit niya, hindi niya pinagyabang, sa halip ginamit niyang daan para magsilbing inspirasyon sa iba.

My Inspirational Serendipity

This would be the first time that I would actually be incorporating my own photos (breathe in, breathe out) in a blog of mine. It is solely for the purpose of presenting facts. I can’t have you guys thinking that I’m making this up. So let’s start.

It’s not unusual for most people to compare their characteristics and lives to those who have achieved great stature in life and have attained success in all ways possible. It makes them feel like the same things could happen to them. That somewhere along the way, if they persevered and if doors open, they’d be successful in their chosen fields as well.

This is exactly how my parents made me feel upon placing and stating their observations between me and the world-renowned Filipina photographer, Ms. Yen Baet.

As per my Dad’s opinion, here are the similarities:

1. “She’s a Filipina and proud of it. You are too.”

2. “She’s self-taught and you are as well.”

3. “She loves Nikon and you, my dear, are addicted to Nikon.”

4. “She’s a freelance travel photographer specializing in landscape and long exposure shots. And you’re good at that as well. You have the same forte.” (Her photo is the one on the left side and the ones at the top. Mine is the one on the right side and the ones at the bottom.)

5. “She’s patient when it comes to waiting for the right light. And you are as well. You spend hours waiting for sunrise or sunset, just to get that right shot.”

As per my Mom’s observation and this was just recently on Yen’s exhibit over at Holy Angel University last Saturday.

1. “You’re both writers, although I think you’re a lot more dedicated to the literary side of things”.

2. “She won Ms. HAU crown of 1985, you won 1st runner up Ms. Nursing 2011”.

3. “Look at her number when she was a candidate and do you remember yours? Now that’s just too much of a coincidence.”

4. “You’re a part of HAU now and she was too. And out of all the random times in the world, you enrolled here just weeks before her exhibit. You can’t tell me that this was just a random set of things conspiring all at the same time. This was meant to be”.

I guess if there is a Series of Unfortunate Events, there’s also a Series of Timely Events or simply, Serendipity.

During the exhibit, she sat just one seat away from me. Can you believe it? And when I asked if I could have a photo taken with her. She smiled and said, “Sure, what’s your name?” I wasn’t able to respond right away. I wasn’t expecting her to actually ask for my name, most popular people never do. And so I was taken off guard but when I finally gave her my name, she smiled again and said, “Thank you so much for coming to my exhibit”.

That much humility in someone who has achieved so much is something to look up to and to strive for. And I know that moving forward, the respect and admiration that I have for her will grow and lead me to the path of doing what I love to do, that is Travel, Writing and Photography.

Once again, my sincerest and warmest gratitude to you Ms. Yen Baet!

Walang Titulo

 

Ilang tao na rin ang dumaan,

Lahat sila di mapigilang ako’y tingnan.

Wala akong pakialam sa kanilang dahilan,

Ang gusto ko lang mapag-isa para loob ay gumaan.

 

Nagsusulat na naman ako.

Badtrip talagang buhay to.

Isa lang naman kasi ang dahilan kapag tema’y ganito.

Pilit inaaliw ang isip kong nagugulo.

 

Sa bawat titik, letra, kuha, pahina na hindi ko nakikita,

Sana’y mabubuting bagay kayong likha.

Dahil pagod na kong magalit, magsalita.

Sa tuwing malalamang kayo’y dumadami pa. 

 

Katotohanan, katapatan.

Mga bagay na di ko pwedeng pagtakpan. 

Mga bagay na laging nandyan.

Ngunit di maabot ng puso’t isipan.

 

Naubos ang isang pahina na puro bura.

Hindi na yata sapat ang mga salita.

Iyak ay aagos na.

Tingin sa taas, sabay pigili ng hikbi’t luha.

 

Matatag ako.

Hanggang kelan ko to sasabihin sa sarili ko?

Hanggang matapos ang buhay ko?

O hanggang tumigil sa pag-ikot ang mundo?

 

Ewan. Siguro. Bahala na.

Isa lang naman ang sigurado, di ako mawawala.

Kahit san pa makarating, kahit san pumunta.

Kahit lahat ay umabot pa sa sukdulan niya. 

 

Pag naubos na ang tinta ng ballpen ko.

Sigurado, sobrang haba na ng tulang to.

At ramdam kong naiinip na kayo, 

Pero pasensya na dahil walang wakas ang kwentong to.

 

Katulad ng gulong na walang hanggana’t dulo.

Katulad ng langit na di mo alam kung totoo.

Katulad ng buhay na dere-deretso lang ang takbo.

Titigil lang ang lahat pag sinabi ko. 

Thoughts to Myself

Hey guys. It’s 3:00 AM. What a time to be up huh? Well, I was asleep earlier. I think starting from about 8:30 PM to 12:00 midnight. But now I’m awake. Wide awake might I add. I got a bowl of M&ms at hand and a glass of water so let’s do this.

Tonight, or should I say this morning, I’m not gonna write about a specific topic. I’m just gonna let my thoughts flow as if I’m simply talking to myself.

Now here’s what’s on my mind. First is the fact that I feel like I’m finally getting things back on track, well since taking the board exam that is. Because after that, everything felt out of reach. It almost felt like I’m losing myself. And I think even my boyfriend felt that and it caused him to slowly keep a distance between the two of us. I felt so sorry for myself for not doing anything. For getting stuck. And I think that pushed him away a bit. I know he loves me but you can’t blame a guy for not wanting to be with you if all you ever talk about is how sorry you are for yourself. But last December, I got back on my feet. I got a job and I started earning my independence little by little. Although at present time, I might actually have to go looking for another job again ’cause my boss hates me like hell and she might not endorse me for regularization. But everything is still taking it’s course so I don’t have the right to just assume. So right now, I’m just keeping things positive. And yup, as soon as I got myself back, my boyfriend and I are as thick as thieves again. Also, I added another time-consuming and neuron-eating task in my life and that is a Master’s Degree. I’m not sure yet as to how I’m gonna keep up with my job and a degree at the same time. But I’m confident I’d be able to do it. Besides, I know my boyfriend will be there every step of the way so I’m not scared at all. He’s my rock. He’s my other half, if not my better half. I don’t decide on anything without talking it through with him first. I don’t do anything that he doesn’t know about. He knows me inside out. How I eat. How I sleep. How I tend to do things. What my weaknesses are and what things I could do alone. He’s just always been there. And I’m grateful for that.

But then again, enough of this. Because if he reads this, he’s gonna tease me of being a drama queen again. And all I could say back is that he’s a snob (which is not true at all). So that’s that. But just keeping in mind what I read about before that Steno (as requested, he said I gotta drop the sir thing. Haha.) posted and it goes something like “If you’re dating a writer and he/she does not write about you, then he/she doesn’t love you. Because if you can’t set his/her pen on fire, how are you gonna set his/her heart on fire”. Bear that in mind my fellow writers. 

Next thing on my mind is getting a tattoo. Like I seriously want one. Before, I wanted a feather behind my ear. I’m not sure as to why exactly I wanted a feather, guess I was just gonna think of some sort of significance after I already have it. But now, I’m thinking of a 3 letter word tattoo and no, it’s not “I Love You”.  Actually I’m not sure what those 3 words are yet. Probably “Write with Passion”, “Writer by Heart” or “Born to Write”. You know something about being a writer and I want it to be somewhere on my right hand. But I still got to think about that (even if I want one badly), ’cause my parents might disapprove if i get one. Even though I know they’ll be able to accept it later on since it’s not anything vulgar or big enough for everyone’s attention and it’s actually poetic in a way but then again my Mom’s a nurse, so she’s really gonna freak out once she sees it and then I’m gonna hear the entire chapter of Medical-Surgical Nursing on Blood-borne diseases afterwards.

Lastly, I’m thinking of God. And how thankful I am for all the blessings that have paved my way. I’m not religious. I mean, I do go to church every weekend (either Saturday or Sunday) but that is more of a family tradition than actual religiosity. If you read my post with the title “An Opinion on Faith”, you’ll already know that I’m not exactly a fan of the bible or religion. But I do believe in a higher power that’s keeping watch on all of us. Something like a grand architect constantly checking if his/her design is going according to plan or if not, are the deviations for the better. But don’t get me wrong, I am fascinated by the Roman Catholic’s form of organization, its history and the beliefs on which it was built upon. It really just amuses me as to how many conspiracy theories actually revolve around it. And that no matter how many people come up with some sort of loophole on it’s foundation, still a lot more people keep their faith on the teachings they impart. Brilliant, right?

But anyways…that’s about it. I already ran out of M&Ms, so it’s time to check if I would be able to go back on snooze mode. I know it’s just a bunch of random thoughts on a young girl’s twisted mind but still, thanks for reading. =)

***************

All art pieces displayed here are not of my own doing. They are creations by different talented artists from deviantART.com. Check out the site if you have time. =)

Alive

“Walking down the highway, traffic’s coming my way”

6:15 AM. I arrived at the bus terminal. Saw a bus parked with a signboard of the correct destination. Got in, stood in the middle for a few seconds and tried to find a good seat. Chose the one on the sixth row, left side and sat beside the window.

Got my earphones out, plugged it to my ipod and started listening to random songs from random genres. A man came in wearing a faded blue cap and had a worn out looking bag strapped on his shoulder. Then a father and son came in. The kid was about 5 years old, they took the seat in front of me. Then a couple came in holding hands and whispering sweet nothings to each other. Then a nurse came in with her uniform as white as it should be. Then a pharmacist came in carrying a bag of groceries. After her, the conductor came in and checked how many passengers was already aboard.

The bus was neither full nor empty. The driver revved the engine and off we go.

I was looking out the window, taking note of the people I see outside. Some of them looked happy, some of them looked upset. And I may not know each and every reason behind the expression on their face but whatever it is, I hope it’s something that makes them wanna go on with life.

The sun suddenly hit my eyes and so I pulled the curtain, that’s when I started looking at the people that I’m with on that bus. They’re complete strangers, that’s what I thought. And most of them were ready to sleep. Well, I couldn’t blame them. It was early in the morning.

We passed by several intersections, the driver’s foot on the brakes.

When we got to the highway, I was starting to feel a bit sleepy myself. Well, I came from a gruesome shift so I was really tired. But then I heard the driver calling the conductor, there’s panic in his voice. It was something about the brakes. And just after the conductor stood from his seat, we crashed to the back of the truck in front of us. Everybody screamed. The bus came to a stop lying sideways on the highway.

Everyone was starting to panic, all of them wanting to get out of the bus as soon as possible but the door was jammed. I would have followed them but then I saw a bus coming right for us. I can see the shock on the driver’s face but with his current speed, there’s just no way he would be able to stop the bus from hitting us.

People ranted frantically. People screamed. People cried.

I just stood there looking at the bus that’s about to hit us. No slow motion. No dramatic effects. No flashback of how I spent my life. Just that pure acceptance that I’m about to die. I didn’t blink. I didn’t feel fear. I just looked up and said “take care of him”. It was less than a prayer but that’s the only thought inside my head.

The bus hit us. And everything went blank. There’s no light, no darkness. No pain, no joy. No fear, no strength. No emptiness, no purpose.

And then something pulled me down.

I woke up in a bed. And given my medical background, I knew immediately I was in an ICU. I felt someone holding my hand. I looked to my left side, and saw that familiar face I have come to know for so long. But he was asleep. My dear architect was asleep.

A nurse approached me. She smiled at me and asked how I was doing. I told her “I can’t believe…I…made it”. She said, “God needed you in heaven but he realized that someone else needed you more. This young man beside you is that someone”. My tears fell. The nurse said, “Love is capable of a lot of things. Miracles are one of them.”

“I just closed my eyes and all I saw was you”

**********

It was just a dream but it felt so real. I woke up on the bus with my hand on my chest. I felt my heart beating and realized, “I’m alive”.