The Fault In Our Stars

Though I will never read the book and though I may not watch the movie, I’d just like to say, based on the popularity of this novel that indeed, people love tragedy.

It’s somewhat ironic that all of us look for happiness but what people don’t realize is that we don’t just look for happiness plain and simple. We are all looking for a certain shade of joy and that is the happiness, no matter how brief, that we get out of a tragedy. 

People love good things but they love tragedy more. Why? Because the sorrow, the pain, the depression that comes with tragedy makes us feel more alive. So yes, all of us are emotional masochists in one way or another. 

Though none of us will say it out loud and though none of us may even realize it, but we yearn for pain. Or specifically, we yearn for the brief happiness that comes with the pain.

Confused? Trust me, I am a bit confused myself. But you can’t deny that I’m somewhat making sense.

Based on the photos of the movie that I saw, the girl wears a nasal cannula all the time which would tell anybody that her lungs are not working properly. And out of all the lung diseases out there, my guess would be cancer. Either it’s been lung cancer from the start or it began as a different type of cancer and later, just spread to her lungs. (No, I’m not a doctor. Yes, I’m a nurse.)

The guy seems well and healthy but then I saw this one photo of them sort of being in a group. My thought was it couldn’t be a school organization because if you already need support for breathing then any sort of school activity will definitely exhaust you. Which then lead me to my second assumption that it was a cancer support group. So if the guy was there, it’s either he just happened to be there (some sort of accident or twist of fate) or he’s also a cancer patient that was just on remission that’s why he looked well.

Based on those two assumptions, the ending is pretty much predictable. I have two endings in mind. First, if the guy just happened to bump into the girl at a cancer support group then that means that the girl dies in the end. Second, if the guy is a cancer patient in remission, then I bet that for some reason his cancer will go back and he’ll die first. I thought of the second one because if you’re the author, you would want to take the world by surprise. All along you’ve lead them to think that it was the girl who was really sick but then you find a way to make the plot more dramatic by throwing a curveball and that curveball is the guy dying first. 

Either way, the plot is simply this: they fall for each other, have an amazing love story and then their love meets a tragic end by way of death. (Please, correct me if I’m wrong.) I’m not belittling the essence of the story. All I’m saying is that this is exactly what I’m talking about. People love tragedy.

Everybody knows that someone will die in the end. That is the tragedy. But people don’t buy books and go to movie theaters yearning for tragedy. What they yearn for is that moment of bliss, that brief happiness that will transpire from the moment the characters meet up to the time the characters last saw each other. The tearjerker moments, the kiss, the exchange of sweet nothings, the effort that goes into loving someone beyond all odds, that is what people are after.

So indeed, people love tragedy. Or should I say, people love the happiness that goes with tragedy. 

P.S.
Last assumption, I’m guessing that “the FAULT in our stars” is that destiny brought two people together just to end it abruptly by one of them leaving so soon. But then as people say, even in death, love is never over.

I’m Not Original

The question here is, are you original? Or are any of us ENTIRELY ORIGINAL? Is everything you say and do PERFECTLY YOUR OWN? No outside influence whatsoever? I think not. 

You can only be original in one or more aspects of your life but NOT the whole. Usually, this/these aspect(s) of your life is/are the talent(s) you were born with. The things you can do with your eyes closed. The things that you don’t have to think about because they just simply come to you. For me, that is writing.  

How about the other aspects or should I say areas, that you want to explore but are not innate to you. That, my friend, is where you need some help. That is where you need other people to influence you, to inspire you, to teach you until such time that you’re good enough to come up with something you can call your own.

Let me use some of the aspects I’ve explored as an example.

Fashion
Me along with a lot of people are not original with the way we dress. Admit it, please. We look through magazines, we watch television, we stalk our fashion icons (may they be actors/actresses, rock stars, supermodels, etc.), we browse the internet for the next look that we think we can pull off. We need their influence for us to figure out how we can come up with a dress code that will fully express who we are. 

Photography
Me and other budding photographers out there are not entirely original with our works. Why? Because we don’t know the craft yet. What we do is ask for advice, for techniques, for guidance from those who are experts in the field. We imitate shots so we’ll know how their done. We poke our noses in someone else’s camera settings so we’ll know how to tweak our cameras to our advantage. After everything’s learned, that’s when we come up with a portfolio that’s entirely our own. 

Art
Me and other frustrated artists out there are not original with what we put on paper. Because those who doesn’t have the natural inclination to art would really find it hard to find a comfortable spot to create original works. If we love art but art is not innate to us, what we’ll do is borrow ideas from artists. We’ll use what we see then add what we think we know about art and come up with something that’s half ours and half theirs. 

You see, borrowing ideas doesn’t mean you’re automatically a copycat. Let me translate it in literature. If you replicate someone’s work exactly as it is, that’s plagiarism. But if you borrow the idea and put it in your own words, that’s paraphrasing. Just because you were influenced by someone else’s concept doesn’t mean that you’re a good for nothing person. It simply means that you’re human. And if you’re wise enough to tweak and express that concept from your own perspective then although you may not be entirely original, at least we know for sure that you’re creative. 

For my part, what sucks really is whenever I try out something new, most of the people I know would applaud me for a good result. But the people who actually matter to me will always find holes. I studied a new technique in photography and when I finally pulled off a good shot, what I would hear is “That’s it?? Even ordinary people can take that shot.” Or when I started painting, I would hear “You just did that because you saw it somewhere. You’re not original.” Well, hell yeah, I saw it somewhere. I got eyes, damn it. But the fact that I put my heart and soul into it and pulled it off requires just a little bit of recognition, don’t you think?

Sometimes, when we venture out into something new, all we need is encouragement and the assurance that even if we fall flat on our asses for trying, someone’s got our back. 

Remember that even if we can never be entirely original, we can always be different. We just have to add a part of ourselves in everything we do so as to leave a different mark in this immense fabric that we call life. 

Let me close by quoting Chuck Palahniuk, “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.”

A Letter to Destiny

Dear Destiny, 

Or maybe, you’re really called fate or the crazy wheel of life or the literature that fortune tellers seem to always read from my palm or with a deck of cards. I may not know what your name is but I have to thank you, BIG TIME.

I have to thank you for the big big smiles on my face for the past few weeks. For the happiness that now mends my heart. Not everything has fallen into place yet, but you know, in life, it never will be a finished puzzle. For as long as you live, the pieces will continually move, sometimes for the better, other times for the worse. And that is something I always remind myself of. 

Nothing and nobody is perfect. I guess that’s the beauty of life. You’ll make mistakes and have shortcomings. And sometimes, sorry will never be enough. But you have to understand the fact that if you can inflict pain on someone, you can also help in easing it. If you can stab someone in the heart with your actions then you can also help in mending the wound. Nothing can be reversed once done, but everything can be made better. 

Destiny (if that is your name), thank you for the love that I have now. After being trapped in hurt and pain for so long, you made me see that tears do run dry. After writing piece after piece about my heart breaking, you’ve given me inspiration in the oddest of ways to make me write about the good things I’m missing out on. After all the nights that I woke up with nothing but depression at heart, you made me believe that sweet dreams isn’t just for going to sleep but also for living it each day.

Thank you for the changes that all turned out for the better. Thank you for the new found confidence. There were times when I thought I wasn’t good enough. There were instances that I pitied myself for my weaknesses. But now I know that my limitations do not and will never define me. I am more than my weaknesses, I am more than the boundaries people have set on me.

Thank you for the painful experiences. I may have cried most of the time because of it but it pushed me to find myself. I may still have issues bearing down on my shoulders because of what I’ve been through but I’ll never lose hope for better days. I’ll work on myself, I’ll work on being a better me despite the weight of my past and the sight of a limitless future. 

Thank you for everything. I may still not be whole yet and frankly, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to being who I once was. But I think that’s okay. Because, as I’ve read somewhere before, the mind, once stretched by an idea, emotion or experience, never goes back to its original dimensions. I’m proud of who I am now. After all, I worked hard for this tough attitude of mine. And I’m not going to give it up just to fall back in the same place I struggled to get out of.

Thank you for the love. Thank you for the happiness. Thank you for the change.

Sincerely,
Beauesprit

 

P.S.
People say that we make our own destinies but I think I’d be a hypocrite if I won’t admit that there are forces at work in this world that are bigger than us. People call it different names but I’m not going to elaborate on that. I just want to give credit where credit is due. Because although I’m the one who made the decisions that lead me to where I am now, the way things turned out isn’t dependent on my actions alone. Each of our lives is but a ripple in a big pond, the extent to which our ripple flow and interact with others is something that we don’t entirely hold in our hands.