In a Nutshell

I haven’t written anything in a long while. It’s been so long that when I logged on to my wordpress account, I was surprised by how much it changed. Then I asked myself, “what have I been doing that’s keeping me away from writing?” After that specific question sprung into my mind, a million trains of thought exploded simultaneously.

I’ve been keeping myself occupied—distracted so to speak. I delved in more to photography and art and half-pretended I was busy at school. Well, grad school did get a little bit harder but I know truthfully that I’ve been in tougher situations, academically speaking. 

So why have I stayed away from writing? Well, it’s because of the past. Back then, writing used to be my avenue to be heard. It became the only way for me to feel like I do exist. It was hard times—very hard times. Tons of emotional struggles tugging at every end of my heart, one painful scenario after another, never seeing where all the tears will finally end. 

Then I changed. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stopped begging other people for the things I deserve. I stopped looking at myself through the eyes of people who didn’t know my worth. I stopped feeling so damn sorry for myself. Ultimately, I just stopped letting other people kill the best parts of me. I fought for myself, worked my way through all the struggles and came out stronger. 

I took a break from writing just as I started changing myself. And now I’m coming back to literature’s arms a better person.

The scars are there and they will always be there. And the past will always linger, it will always find a way to taunt me but the thing is, I’m not scared anymore. I got myself back and I’m never letting go. 

So this post is to my past that made me stronger, to my present that keeps on getting better and to my future whom I have the utmost faith in. May the chaos and beauty of life turn us all into who we should be.